Dear General Sahib, please take off the uniform.

Posted on May 1, 2007. Filed under: Humour, Politics |

Our glorious leader, General Musharraf has said he will not take off his uniform until his re-election through the current assemblies. Politicos have pointed out the unconstitutionality of such a situation. They say an assembly cannot re-elect a president for a full second term. As if a military dictator, cum chief executive, cum president until someone kills him, cum chief patron of cricket, cum anything else he might fancy, is a constitutional position.

People who have read more books and write better essays seem stuck on these matters of constitutionality. But not me. Matters of religious dogma and political doctrine don’t hold my attention. The issues of the everyday life of layman are the real issues. The daily perils he faces are scarier than any so-called anti-islamic conspiracies. And that is why I am bothered by the General’s statement. I wonder how his stubbornness on this matter is going to effect the quality of life for those around him and those, whose lives he goads. Thus the following appeal to our glorious leader:

Sir, in the coming months there is going to be a lot of heat on you. Taliban terrorists, cunning politicians, even the trusty Americans are going to be on your case. You are already looking harrangued and your brows leaden with sweat. And then the real heat arrives. People sweat buckets even under shade in the Pakistani summer. And when the monsoons come, the country becomes one large steam room for weeks. The hot air is aromatized by the steaming human and animal feces littered on earth. Even the pretty girls stink in those months. Please Sir, reconsider your adamency on this matter. Take it off for a few hours when no one is looking. Maybe you can take off the uniform at night in the privacy of your bedroom. Have the first lady wash it and iron it dry while you take a well deserved and truly needed shower and scrubbing. I am confident, despite her recently luxurious life, begum Saba can still wash a shirt for you. And then you can put it back on when it is time to strut in front of your servant country.

Please sir, don’t make it any harder for the army to salute you. Their salutes, prod your salutes in answer and that lets escape whiffs from the underarms. In that regard may I also recommend a super strong deodorant. Mitchum claims its deodorant is so strong you can skip a day. I will vouch for that claim. I can FedEx you a couple months supply from costco for cheap. Daily showers at night, while begum sahiba washes the uniform and a liberal application of a medicated deodorant and you might just make all this bearable for yourself and the rest.

Please Sir, do the right thing. Do it for your wife and child. Do it for those who heed your commands without complaint. Do it for the country that serves you and the mighty army you command. Do it for yourself. Please think about taking off the uniform. We have had enough of this.

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4 Responses to “Dear General Sahib, please take off the uniform.”

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thats hilarious

i gotta rem to link 2 that

This is what I thought about before too. I mean if he is doing something good with other’s didn’t do, let him do yaar. Sexually frustrated souls just need him to be naked.

[…] This is hilarious, Dear General Sahib, please take off the uniform. […]

According to the ammendment and present constituion, President Musharraf can retain his uniform by the end of 31 December 2007.

general Pervaiz Musharraf is a failed politicon but a sucsessful and patriotic statesman.

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